Please repost!

“Will you be in the 1% that has the courage to repost this?”

“My real friends will repost this. Are you a real friend?”

“I’ll bet none of you will repost this…” 

And on it goes: feeble-minded attempts by our Facebook “friends” to guilt or goad us into reposting a status they posted or, more likely, reposted from someone else.

Seriously, why?

It doesn’t matter if the status is against painting kittens to look like tigers or leukemia in children, it doesn’t make one whit of difference. Only conspiracy theorists could believe that someone is tallying Facebook status messages to decide what worthwhile goal should receive more attention than another.

These types of status messages are the new spam. They’re replacing the hoax e-mails of yesteryear with sincere, heartstring-tugging status messages that implore you to repost them to raise people’s awareness of something or another. An action which accomplishes nothing, but it must give the original poster a kick to see how many people repost his or her status and how long it hangs around.

The World Wide Web is replete with sites reporting news, politics, health and medical advancements, commentary, opinion, et cetera, ad nauseam. If you fall into the group of people who need a Facebook status to raise your awareness about something, then you need one of these sincere, heartstring-tugging statuses posted in your honor. This is also true if you still forward e-mails forwarded to you without checking the facts.

If you’re a Facebook status spammer or e-mail forwarding spammer, this is what will help most of all: Draw a nice, hot bath…make it a bubble bath and it’ll be our secret…draw a nice, hot, bubble bath and drop your computers right into it. ‘Cause, damn, you’re stupid.